For most people, it takes a lot of courage to call a therapist. For people to call a sex therapist, it usually takes even more. Most people have some idea of what happens in psychotherapy from watching television shows or movies in which a character enters therapy. But there isn’t much about what really happens in a sex therapist’s office. Given all the shame and guilt about sex, it isn’t surprising that people have a hard time imagining what happens without feeling upset or even disturbed.
A sex therapy session looks very much like any other psychotherapy session. The client (or patient) discusses their history and experience with an issue, and the therapist helps them by putting things in perspective or giving concrete suggestions for change. There is no touching (except an occasional hug, if the client asks for one) and definitely no nudity or sex.
Most sex therapists ask clients to complete an initial intake form. Forms differ, but the sex therapist usually wants to know specific information about you, including why you are seeking help and what you might have done to resolve the problem in the past.
In sex therapy, the therapist often wants to know what you were taught about sex and who taught you. It could also be that you learned about sex in a negative way; perhaps your first sexual experience was sad or scary, which is a terrible way to begin knowing about sex.
The therapist will also want to know about your current experience of sex in your relationship. Do you function the way you are supposed to-that is, do your sex organs work? Are you watching a lot of pornography or having sex with strangers?
The sex therapist will look at what happens in your relationship outside the bedroom if you are in a relationship. If there is a lot of conflict or stress, the therapist will want to help you learn better ways of coping so that your relationship is more pleasant, making it easier to work on the sexual problem. Sometimes there is no conflict at all, which is actually not a good sign; it usually means that one or both partners are upset, but unwilling to “rock the boat” for fear that the relationship will be torn apart. In this case, the sex therapist needs to encourage the couple to talk about their problems so that they have more of a real connection and understanding of one another.
Sex therapy usually includes recommendations for activities, from going on a date together, to discussing with your partner what turns you on, to taking turns touching one another in a sensual way. Sex therapists often recommend reading on topics so that you have the most current knowledge and can banish any myths that are doing you harm.
Lily Yang (Read the Full Document) is also fast becoming one of the most compelling and iconic women in the Australian sex industry. Not since Madam Brussels strutted her stuff in “Little Lon” more than 100 years ago has any “magnificent madam” emerged as a persuasive voice for her industry, speaking out in her blogs to influence the way people think about her choice of lifestyle. Along the way she has shown us a few dance moves: opening The Sunlight Foundation for her own charitable and philanthropic activities for one, as she was not deemed an acceptable benefactor to established charities unless she hid her name away from the public gaze. Lily believes in the power of what money and dedication can do, not where money comes from, when the plight of so many unfortunate children, trafficked into sex work, is at stake. Lily personally supports “Seyla”, a Cambodian child victim of trafficking, providing her with education and financial aid so she can rebuild her life. Seyla wants to be a writer, like “her mom”, Lily.